Testimonial by Sasibai

This is a testimonial by Sasibai Kimis from Malaysia.  She attended our Crossroads Discipleship Training in April.  I share this on our blog to help give insight into what other people experience as they go through Crossroads.  

Sasi says:

Where do I start.........? I could say my desire to do something more for the Lord started perhaps 4 years ago while I was working in London. But now when I look back, I think my journey with the Lord began from the day I was conceived and most likely even before, just like in Psalms 139:15-16.

During my childhood, my father had taken us as a family to India during our holidays, and those days had brought about a sense of how blessed I was and am; in the sense that even the basic things I had were a luxury to many others on this earth. So even while I travelled the world to study, explore new cultures, or work; issues of social justice and giving back were often on my mind. I just had a keen sense that God has blessed me with so much, a wonderful family, friends, great education and opportunities to experience living and working all over the world. Was I going to keep all this for myself? When I moved back to Malaysia from London at the end of 2008, I knew that the desire to really spend some ‘real’ time with God and focus my time on him was coming soon. For everything that I had wanted to learn in my life, I pursued the best I could - studying at Wharton & Cambridge, working in Wall Street in New York etc; and I thought, why is that when it comes to God, I haven’t decided to pursue the best I can with God?, spend time with Him, learn about Him? My knowledge of the Bible was paltry and while I felt that God was my best friend, I had often veered away from Him in my actions and the decisions I had made in my life. I had grown up as a Christian, I was a born-again Christian, but I felt that my relationship with God should and could be like the way it was in the Bible. In my teenage years I used to think, “Lord, how come You don’t speak to us the way You did in the Old Testament or why wasn’t I born during a time when miracles and healings were commonplace like in the New Testament?”

I decided then that no job, money or circumstance should take me away from spending some time with my Maker and learning more about Him. Not just during my quiet time, not just in cell group, not just in church. That I should spend undistracted time with the God who died for me. I wanted God to use me. Use me. Use all of my experiences, my pain, my joy, my intelligence, all of me, for His purpose. And I didn’t think I was going to discover that purpose if I continued my life in the same trajectory of where I was. I decided in June 2010 that I was going to quit my job at Khazanah Nasional - I spoke to my bosses and informed them of my decision to pursue some time with God. They asked me to stay on to finish a transaction I had started, which I did and left Khazanah end of March 2011. I arrived in Hawaii on April 4 th, 2011. During the first few weeks of my Crossroads Discipleship Training course, I thought I had made a mistake of coming to Hawaii. I thought, “What else am I going to learn about God that I don’t already know? I have heard God speaking to me and I have a good relationship with Him”. I had no idea what God had in store for me.

Now when I look back at the last few months, I wish I had done this sooner. This has been the best decision I have made in my life thus far. I understand that as a Christian, miracles should be commonplace, because that is the authority that Christ has given to every Christian, Mark 16:17 “And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”

I have seen spirits driven out of people in Jesus’ name, I experienced physical healing personally and I saw my course mates being instantly healed. I had no idea of the power and authority that Christ has given to us as Christians. We can pray for and heal the sick. Spirit-filled born again believers can drive out demons!

We spent 11 weeks learning about: God’s love, hearing God’s voice, reversing the misunderstandings we have about God, getting into the right Plumbline with God, spiritual warfare, what the Kingdom of God really means, developing faith in God, missionary work, building simple churches, challenging cultures with love and the Holy Spirit.

My faith has increased in ways I never imagined. I realised how little I actually knew about God. And even now, with all that I know, someone told me this story: a man stood on a beach wondering what was left to know about God, God asked him to pick up a grain of sand and said to him, “Even this single grain of sand is more than what you know about me”. I realised how much I had underestimated God in my life and in my thinking.

God has spoken to me in ways I never imagined possible. I now understand who the Holy Spirit is. I now rely on the Holy Spirit in my life. I understand that God has been speaking to me through dreams and visions. I understand what spiritual warfare is. The list could go on and on.

I am a transformed person. Never can I live and I hope I never will, live my life with only a paltry taste of God. I look at life now with so much expectancy. Expectancy of God’s Hands in my life and the life of others.

God has placed desires in our hearts and my desire is to honour Him in all that I do, especially with my desire to start a business one day soon.

This verse motivates me, Acts 17:28 “For IN HIM we Live and Move and have our BEING”.